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Showing posts from August, 2012

Whence Comes Spring

No. It's not spring, we are still in the midst of summer and what a summer it has been. The weather has actually continued to be sunny and mild (thank you Lord!) and trips to the pool have been at a maximum. I've gained new freckles along with new perspective and my world seems the brighter for it. Each day brings a unique experience, I know I'm not alone in this revelation, it's called "life". There is a beauty to experiencing hardship and loss in that your own personal world slows down to a snails pace and your eyes are open to the simple things that make up everyday. I am reminded to slow down and breathe, to lay back and let my Father do the work of orchestrating my life. I can't see my future, but He has each step laid out before me, and He has done this because He loves me.

"Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with hi…


Today I took on the task of cleaning what was supposed to be my Edy's room. But my Edy isn't here to fill up this room with her presence. This is a little more heart breaking than I thought it would be. That's the not so funny thing about grief. It's sneaky and it lies in wait like the proverbial prankster ready to leap from behind a hidden corner and shout, "Boo!" giving me, the griever, a bit of a shock. I sat in a chair and looked at this room and remembered how much Dustin hated painting it. That's how much he loves me and how much he loves his daughter. He was willing to paint this room whatever color I wanted so Edy could have a beautiful room to grow in. There are alot of dreams that I am sorrowing the loss of. Dreams where I would get to hold my little girl, feed her, cuddle her, get exhausted by her, watch her smile for the first time, watch her eyes begin to recognize that I am Mommy and Dustin is Daddy. I wanted that more than I was willing to…